Grandpa's Journal
My new friend
My Grandpa Abraham sat gazing out of his window, down 34th Street towards Macy’s, cloaked in a north light and advanced Alzheimer’s. As a young child, I sat by Grandpa’s wheelchair, held his cool fleshy hand, and stared into his soft brown eyes. I wondered what he thought about.
Years later, I found Grandpa’s journal among my grandmother Rosalia’s items. The first entry is from October 23rd, 1932. An excerpt from Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage by Byron, which is an appreciation of the Greek muses of artistic and scientific inspiration. Abraham was a believer in a higher purpose in life. He celebrated humanity, artistic and scientific achievements, and peace. It must have taken him years to make this book, clearly for himself - not others.
Who walks with beauty has no need of fear;
The sun and moon and star keep pace with him.
— David Morton
Dulce bellum inexpertis
War is sweet to those who have no experience of it.
- Erasmus quoting from Pindar
…no longer to be tired out by little things, but to be exhausted and used by some great ecstasy. - Christoper Morley from Thunder on the Left
Abraham and Rosalia shared a deep love. A good part of the journal covers romantic themes of love and loss. Reading Love Not Me For Comely Grace by John Wilbye particularly moves me knowing of the cognitive decline Abraham suffered.
Love not me for comely grace,
For my pleasing eye or face;
Nor for any outward part,
No, nor for my constant heart:
For those may fail or turn to ill,
So thou and I shall sever.
Keep therefore a true woman’s eye,
And love me still, but know not why;
So hast thou the same reason still
To doat upon me ever.
He was deeply aware of life’s fleetingness.
When lofty trees I see barren of leaves
Which erst from heat did canopy the herd,
And summer’s green all girded up in sheaves
Borne on the bier with white and bristly beard,
Shakespeare’s - Sonnet 12, excerpt
If you don’t know how to die, never mind. When the time comes, nature will furnish you complete instructions, she will even do the business for you.
— Michael de Montaigne
On the second to last page he quotes the Old Testament - followed by Othello
II. Samuel
His last entry, My Sweetest Lesbia - by Thomas Campion
When timely death my life and fortune ends,
Let not my hearse be vexed with mourning friends,
But let all lovers, rich in triumph, come
And with sweet pastimes grace my happy tomb;
And Lesbia, close up thou my little light,
And crown with love my ever-during night.
I’d like to think that when Grandpa was staring out that window onto 34th Street – he was somehow bathed in the inner joy and comfort of his favorite words. Reading Grandpa’s journal now feels like I made a new friend.
Until next time,
Noah